Understanding why customers buy, and why some don’t, is only part of the equation. According to Women’s Consumer Expert Shampaigne Graves, those last-minute decisions are rarely random. They are often shaped by a series of invisible forces that influence how consumers view money, products and even themselves.

Graves, an on-air commentator, international keynote speaker and founder of Women’s Research Solutions, has built her career around studying how women make purchasing decisions and why businesses frequently miss the mark when trying to reach them. She also created the WCR 4 Method and Founded and leads Boldify, an audio-first business school for women entrepreneurs.

Joining us on the latest Business Trends Today episode, Graves explains that many business leaders and marketers overlook four forces that can shape purchasing behavior:

Gendered socialization
Emotions
Intersecting demographics
“Legacy consumerism.”

According to Graves, these factors can influence decisions long before a customer reaches the checkout.

What shapes buying habits

Legacy consumerism, in particular, begins much earlier than most businesses realize. Graves said the way people spend money is often connected to the lessons they learned from the people who first taught them about money. That can be as simple as the household products someone grew up using. Graves pointed to the familiar debate between brands such as Lysol and Pine-Sol. Consumers may believe they are choosing one product because it is better, cheaper or more effective, but sometimes the explanation is much simpler. She believes the reason someone may buy is that it’s the product their mother or grandmother always bought.

Those habits can carry into adulthood, shaping everything from grocery purchases to major buying decisions. They can even become a point of disagreement when two people raised in different households begin making purchasing decisions together. For businesses, recognizing these learned behaviors can deepen understanding of what happens when a customer hesitates.

Graves described one of the most important examples as “purchase panic,” a phenomenon she associates with the moment when imposter syndrome and inherited money beliefs surface during the buying process. A woman may decide she wants or needs a product, only to question whether she can justify the expense, what others will think about the purchase, or what the decision says about her.

That hesitation can become especially pronounced at the checkout line, whether the transaction happens in a physical store or online. A customer may remove products from a cart, put items back on a shelf or abandon a purchase altogether. From the outside, it can look like an arbitrary change of mind. Graves said businesses should instead recognize the behavioral psychology behind the decision.

Why rushing backfires

That distinction also changes how companies should approach the sales process. According to Graves, rather than constantly trying to shorten the sales cycle, she argues that businesses need to give women room to make confident decisions. She said women drive more than 85% of household purchasing decisions and noted that while marketing to women can require a longer sales process, the potential payoff extends well beyond the initial transaction. Graves also notes that 92% of women will refer friends and family, turning one satisfied customer into a potentially much larger network of buyers.

“I think brands are getting it wrong by trying to rush the sales process with women.”

Therefore, Graves argues that the salesperson’s role can be critical. Instead of pushing a hesitant customer toward a decision, businesses can help address the questions running through her mind. Sometimes that means reinforcing the value of the purchase or simply giving the customer permission to spend money on herself.

That concept of permission can be particularly powerful when a consumer is struggling to justify an expense. Messaging that reinforces value and reminds customers they are worth the investment can help remove psychological barriers between interest and purchase.

Building trust

But earning the initial sale is only one part of building a lasting relationship. Graves said consistency is one of the most important factors in earning women’s trust, particularly as consumers gain unprecedented access to information through smartphones and the internet.

Customers can now look beyond a company’s advertising and investigate how it treats employees, how it operates internally and whether its actions match its stated mission and values. As consumers become increasingly conscious of where they spend their money, that consistency can become a competitive advantage.

For business owners, the broader lesson from Graves’ research is that consumer behavior cannot always be explained by price, product features or promotional messaging. People’s purchasing decisions are influenced by experiences and beliefs that can stretch back to childhood.